hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize