Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Houston, we have a squirter
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
