yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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