I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
