I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
