We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
