ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
