You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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