i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We're too hungover to prance.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
