we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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