11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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