i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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