I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this just has baby written all over it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
