You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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