wat bout pragnant strippers??
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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