But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
