For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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