Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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