I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
