somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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