I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
