i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
