You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
