you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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