I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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