before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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