I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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