Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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