so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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