your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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