yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
