I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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