Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
