if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
