he thought i was a dude.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
nutella sex= disaster
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
