At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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