did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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