I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize