I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
