if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
