Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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