I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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