Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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