She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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