just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
