Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
