at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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