You're completely useless in the revolution.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
