So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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