What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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