just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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