Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
