I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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