Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
