I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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