I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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