What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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