just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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