Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
