thus making me awesome and them whores
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize