Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Randomize
