If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
