i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
