if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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