You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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