I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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