ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
